What to Do When Meeting a Twin

by Ivory
(California)

When you meet a pair of identical twin brothers or sisters, here are some guidelines.

DO NOT:

1. Ask questions about being a twin. I don't care if you're curious or just want to make conversation: EVERYONE ASKS THAT. So, I've taken the liberty to answer a few questions: No, I don't like being a twin, and you don't want one. She's older by a minute and has held it over my head for years. Yes, our parents did dress us up when we were younger. Neither is smarter, more athletic, or more popular.

2. Ask how to tell you apart. I'm not in the mood for another list of which freckles we have different or whose hair is shorter. Please figure it out on your own, it makes us feel shitty and like you don't care enough to remember who I am.

3. Compre us. We're just siblings, you shouldn't feel the need to individualize us by putting down another one. I know I'm my own person, you don't have to prove it.

4. Refer to stereotypes. Everything you know is wrong. We don't like to spend our entire lives together and don't insinuate that we do. Please let me be me.

5. Use one person to get to the other. I'm not keen on people always greeting me with "Where's Marnie?". I would prefer for you to ask her yourself.

DO:

1. Treat us like regular siblings. I realize that twins aren't normal, but please pretend like it is.

Thank you for the attention, I hope this helps.